So, 2014 has gotten off to not much of a start. I was going to write about all the things that happened in 2013, but it occurred to me I didn't really have a clue what actually happened. I know that the leader of one of the world's biggest religious organisations announced his resignation last year. As well as Steve Ballmer, the pope also resigned. The search for a new pope is a lot easier, though. They've had a lot more experience, and Benedict didn't get rid of anybody who might be able to take over from him.
Google Glass came out, and wowed everyone who knew someone with $1500 and an invitation for about ten minutes, before moving on to the next big thing.
Samsung brought out a watch, in the hope to preempt the next nonexistent, unannounced product from Apple, and no one really cared about that, either.
Microsoft had to write down almost a billion on the Surface, before announcing the Surface 2. This may have been linked to Ballmer's resignation. Or not.
The profitable wing of Microsoft had some success with the release of the XBox One, while Sony brought out the PlayStation 4. I still have no idea which one is better, although initially, MS was ridiculed for restrictive game reselling and sharing policies, and requiring an always on Internet connection. They did back down eventually, and the responsible executive was taken out back and shot. Or something. Then Ballmer resigned.
Apple, in addition to spec-bumping its entire line between June and October, announce the first major update to the MacPro in years. Immediately ridiculed for not being exactly the same as previous MacPros, only better, many announced the end of Apple as a serious contender in the personal computer market, making it the 36th consecutive year in which this has occurred. After an extremely delayed release, it turns out that the sealed-in, completely un-upgradable design is completely modular and should be easily upgradable.
Apple, of course, continues it's dominance in product lines it hasn't announced. The Apple branded TV set has still not been seen, and the alleged iWatch caused Samsung to rush to be first to market, while still not actually appearing. Oh, and analysts predicted that Apple needed to do some particular thing, or hit some particular goal. Apple refused to do this, and so presumably is mere moments from the company collapsing into bankruptcy. Meanwhile, Apple's cash reserves, and stock valuation continued to rise.
The main thing Apple failed to do was release a new, cheap iPhone. It released the iPhone 5c, which seems to have been designed to avoid manufacturing problems with the iPhone 5, and replaced it in the "previous generation" slot in the iPhone lineup. This's, of course, means that Apple is mere moments from bankruptcy.
Research In Motion, or RIM as it was better known, became better known as Blackberry, which is what everyone called it anyway. They also seemed to finally realise that their biggest asset was their back end infrastructure, rather than their front end phones.
And, of course, the big news of the year was that the National Security Agency has been spying on everyone, and had been developing back doors into all kinds of IT equipment, services, software, and anything else they could think of. Now it was out in the open, everyone had to stop pretending it wasn't going on and make a fuss. No one is particularly happy it was going on, but also no one really wanted to talk about it until Edward Snowden put it out in public and forced them to pay attention.
I'm sure I've forgotten some really important tech news from last year, but I can't remember anything. I should really take notes, or keep a diary, or something.